Mum watched son's organs shut down 'one by one' as alcohol 'took over' their lives

On the surface Mhairi Doyle was a happily married young mum with three children and a productive career. However, the heartbreaking reality was Mhairi’s life had plummeted into ‘chaos’.

Drink had always been a big part of Mhairi’s family life and she describes growing up with alcohol ‘all around’ and how it was taken for all different reasons – including her nana making up hot toddies whenever she had a cold. She said: “Drinking was just the norm – even as a kid”.

However, like so many people, Mhairi could never have imagined this ‘normal’ and ‘social’ activity could wreak such devastation and bring so much heartbreak to her life. She said: “I drank at home. I was a typical alcoholic. When I was drinking, I wasn’t there for my children. It took over my life.”

Similar to many people suffering from alcohol dependency, alcoholism was prevalent in multiple generations of Mhairi’s family. Drinking heavily and ‘secretly’ became a learned behaviour – a state of affairs which eventually ‘trapped’ her in a vicious cycle. She said: “I knew I was wasn’t drinking normally, but I didn’t know how to stop.”

Then one day – specifically March 6, 1986 – Mhairi walked into an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and hasn’t had a drink since. She added: “At that first AA meeting they told me if you don’t pick up the first drink, you won’t get drunk. I thought that was brilliant! But if it had been as easy as that there wouldn’t be a story. It was really hard work.”

The story of Mhairi’s recovery journey is inspirational and she is very candid about her life experience as both a woman and mother experiencing alcoholism and also as a parent of an alcoholic. She added: “I had three children – I’ve got two children now. They went through my drinking with me, but they also came through my recovery.”

Nevertheless, Mhairi is extremely keen to highlight the ‘human cost’ of alcohol dependency.

“My oldest son started drinking when he was 13-years-old. His life was not a happy life – he was never at peace with himself”

Mhari’s son was diagnosed with Encephalitis when he was 13 – he contracted it from chicken pox. She believes this altered his brain make-up and led to him becoming more withdrawn. Mhairi said: “It was actually Encephalitis that brought me to AA because I just thought I need to do something about this.”

Tragically, this was the first marker point on a trajectory which ultimately led to Mhairi’s son dying of alcohol-related illness. She said: “I sat there for a week watching his organs shutting down one after the other. The medical team then did a scan on him and found he was brain dead.

“They waited for my daughter to come across and we both sat there with him and told him he was loved. Then he died.”

Retelling her most traumatic moment is something which weighs heavy on Mhairi and is clearly an intensely emotional subject. There’s evidently a degree of catharsis in remembering her son’s death to raise awareness around the dangers of alcohol.

But there are also more complex feelings at play. She added: “It was a difficult time because I always wondered whether I could have done more.

“By facilitating his drinking, all I was doing was facilitating his death. That realisation hit hard.”

Feelings of guilt are not uncommon among the families of people suffering from alcohol dependency because it’s so difficult to know what to do. Mhairi said: “People don’t know where to turn to and often end up between a rock and a hard place. Things have to change”.

Today, Mhairi Doyle is a councillor for Sefton and she’s committed to facilitating the changes in alcohol policy which will save lives. She said: “With support, I’ve broken the cycle of alcoholism within my family.

“None of my grandchildren have seen me drunk. I have a great-grand-daughter who was born two weeks ago – she will never see her granny drunk.

“My children will never see me drunk ever again because it’s not an issue in my life any more.

“Recovery is not easy but it can be done. People can look at me. Things can change. I am change.”

Cllr Doyle is now actively supporting Sefton Council as they call on the Government to establish a National Alcohol Strategy.

The aim of this proposal is to further support the borough’s dependent drinkers and provide more treatment for people who need it.

It is estimated that around 4,250 Sefton residents are dependent drinkers, but only around 16% of them are in treatment.

A report in November 2022 warned 25% of Sefton’s adult population have increased risk of harm through excess alcohol consumption.

Additionally, alcohol related admissions for under-18s in Sefton rose to 71 per 100,000 between 2018 and 2021.

Cllr Doyle is quick to differentiate between alcohol dependency and the social and casual consumption of drink. She said: “The call for a National Alcohol Strategy is all about raising awareness of the risks of alcohol, providing education around use and advocate for more resources to treat those suffering from alcohol dependency.

“I will always be shouting about this because people don’t know where to turn to and that needs to change today.”