My kids woke very early this morning, and unfortunately, it was my turn to get up.
They're now fed and watered. And as I type this blog they are both sat contently, watching a programme that to my tired eyes, initially looks like a science fiction film that is set in a post-apocalyptic World due to nuclear war.
The characters which include a talking red dog, are all clearly genetically mutated by extreme levels of radiation.
Hold on, I've just pressed the info button on the remote, it says it's the Tweenies.
The protests down the road in Bolton got out of hand a bit didn't they? This is the simple way I see it. We have two huge groups of protesters.
In the red corner, we have the English Defence League (EDL). A misguided and narrow minded, very far right thinking organisation.
In the blue corner, we have the Unite Against Fascism (UAF). Also, in my view, a misguided and narrow minded very far left thinking organisation who I'm more offended by, as they give the EDL and BNP more publicity by fighting them and not allowing them to speak.
Give the fascists a voice. Let me speak. The more rope you give them, the more they'll hang themselves with it.
The majority of people in this country are intelligent, tolerant, good people who can judge for themselves without having a bunch of smelly, swampy type, egg throwing protesters trying to do it for us.
Right, I'll get down off my soap box.
I was in Liverpool all this weekend, compering at Baby Blue on the Albert Docks. A welcome change from driving all over the country.
On the Thursday, I was on the bill with one line man Gary Delaney, who bangs out gag after gag, all of which are brilliantly written.
Ben Schofield opened really well, with Bethany Black and Lewis Charlsworth completing the comedy sandwich.
There were only 30 people in on the Thursday, two of whom had seen me a few times both compering and doing sets.
So, to spare them the familiarity of my material, I performed the whole night thinking purely on my toes. By the end of the night, I'd built a rapport with most individuals in the audience.
Friday and Saturday night were both sold out. With birthday parties, work parties, stag parties and couples. Gary Delaney was the only survivor from the night before, with Steve Day and Aaron Counter joining the ranks.
Anyone who says men can't multi task should have seen me handling four disruptive, drunk stag parties at the same time. One stag party was all Irish, with accents so thick they may as well have been talking klingon.
After 15 minutes, I had the whole room lovely and attentive. And there's not many more satisfying things than having the other comics on the bill shaking your hand at the end, thanking you for making a potentially difficult night thoroughly enjoyable.
Well, back to looking after my kids. Who, unlike the four stag parties, have absolutely no problem verbally tying me in knots and making me look stupid.
See you next week!