Dave Twentyman - Who says romance is dead?

Couple in honeymoon
Couple in honeymoon
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I WAS sat on the plane last week next to a very boisterous couple.

There was no harm in them but they were having a few gin and tonics.

They explained that the trip was a divorce present. They were married to each other, divorced then remarried.

His missus kept helping herself to his gin and he leaned into me and joked: “This is why we split up in the first place this...she kept nicking all me ale”, only for his missus to loudly reply “Yeah, nothing to do with you having an affair with my friend”.

I wanted the ground to swallow me up, and that’s not great when you’re on a plane.

She spent the last hour crying, whilst looking out the window. At least I got a bit of peace after that.

New couples, they just can’t get enough of each other. It doesn’t last forever. I climbed into bed the other night and my wife said “Turn over” so I replied “awww, is it so you can cuddle me” and she dismissively said “No, I just don’t want you breathing in my face”.

IT’S that time of year when we’re starting to get political party leaflets posted through the door.

Which I suppose makes a change from the usual kebab/pizza leaflets and them carrier bags that are constantly posted through the door asking for used clothes etc.

Can I just add, I find it incredible that they manage to resell these clothes on. Just think, somewhere around the world, in a deprived country, there’s some bloke wearing an old Saints shirt with McEwans Lager on front and a big number four with Newlove on the back.

Anyway, back to the local elections. I’m sure I’m not the only one who finds it difficult to get enthusiastic about it all. It’s actually the stories about the BNP candidates that raise my interest.

On the surface they come across as respectable. And if the fellow candidates refuse to debate them, it comes across as aloof and reinforces the BNP narrow minded views.

A little scratch under the surface through debate, by allowing them to answer questions will reveal their true colours. And the only one they like is white.

I love my town. It might be a bit run down and deprived in some areas,but it’s got the most genuine friendly people, who’s only prejudice is against the pie eaters....and maybe Warrington, and Leeds...I’m not keen on Bradford either BUT we are not racist.

So please don’t vote BNP and let their campaign crash like a North Korean rocket.

This was a party political broadcast by the Dave Twentyman Party.