Dave Twentyman - On deer, oh deer!

I WAS fascinated to read about the woodland in Sutton Manor last week.

Apparently, Roe deer had been sighted during the summer. I should really just call it deer, I don’t know why I’m even bothering writing the proper name. I don’t want to sound like some deer racist ... but they all look the same to me.

Anyway, the forestry commission are trying to find out if they have actually set up home here, or if they just passing through.

It is thought that they follow the routes of train lines, rivers and motorways on their way. How mad is that?

I’ve never seen them when I’m driving up the M6. I really want to know how they get about without being spotted because they’re not exactly ninjas are they?

I hope this news was only printed in the Reporter because if them lot in Widnes hear about this, they’ll be coming over hunting the deer with spears.

THAT glorious day of the year is almost upon us, Christmas Day!

The day a mythical bloke with a white beard (and I don’t mean Johnny Wellies) takes all the credit.

And you slowly see what little space you had to yourself in the living room almost completely taken over with toys. You end up squashed up in the corner like a domestic Gaza Strip.

I do love it though. My little boy in particular is getting to that age were his toys are getting really really good.

He got a Thomas The Tank Engine train set a few weeks ago for his birthday and my missus couldn’t get him on it, because I was too busy playing with it.

Even pets are catered for. A chewy bone for the dog or cat drugs (cat nip) for your cat and you don’t see them for ages as they’re so content. Either that or they’re sulking because you left the price tag on.

There’s the desperate search for batteries too for the kids toys. You think you’ve got enough but you still end up scraping around for a spare double A battery. By boxing day there’s not a remote control or clock working in the house.

My favourite is Christmas dinner though, I absolutely love cooking it with all the trimmings.

I’m not too much of a traditionalist as I will have different kinds of meat. This year I’ve decided we’re going to have deer, mmmmmmm.