Dave Twentyman - Fight night gets in a flap

THE David Haye vs Derek Chisora fight has been receiving a lot of bad press and rightfully so.

Seeing as the Luxembourg Boxing Board have sanctioned the fight, they should be made to provide the fighters for the undercard.

I can’t imagine they’ll have a wealth of boxers to pick from so it’ll probably be some bloke punching a swan.

MANCHESTER City are the new Premier League champions. I’ll admit that it sticks in my throat a bit typing that.

Within minutes I was getting the text jokes about Owen Hargreaves injuring his neck as he leaned over to accept his winners medal.

Sheikh Mansour must be thrilled with his achievement of throwing money at something until it’s no longer rubbish.

And with the first phase of his plan now complete I believe he now wants to introduce salmon fishing to the Manchester Ship Canal.

I’M gonna do what the national newspapers constantly do in this country and totally ignore the fact there was a big rugby league game last weekend.

THE Olympic Torch was lit last week in a big fancy ceremony in Greece. An actress who played a high priestess, kindled the flame by catching the suns rays in a parabolic mirror ... them poor Greeks can’t even afford a box of matches now.

I really feel for them, as a regular visitor to Crete they are a lovely and very proud nation.

And they are extremely reluctant to take a bail out package to stave away bankruptcy.

Might I suggest a PPI claim? Everybody’s doing it. Take a look out your window now and see if anyone’s getting anything done to their house or have bought a new car, I bet you they’ve put a sneaky PPI claim in.

Even in Wigan, sales of plastic butterflies at the poundshops have gone through the roof. And them stupid eyelashes for cars, what’s all that about?

“HAW he haw he haw”, “Hee haw hee haw he haw”, “Haw he haw he haw”....”Hee haw hee haw hee haw”. The difference in the accent between French and English donkeys is very subtle isn’t it? Apologies for that dreadful observation.

Thanks for reading