Me, Nick Clegg and arm-wrestling the Williams sisters!
The news this week has been dominated by the emergence of the Liberal Democrats as a serious contender for the elections.
They've got my vote. British politics has been as always been as competitive as the Scottish Premier League, with the two main parties weeing in the same bucket.
Its unhealthy. I've been saying all week, choosing between Brown and Cameron is like choosing which Williams sister you'd rather spend a night with. And no bloke wants a girl that can beat him in an arm wrestle. That's why Crystals nightclub dropped out of existence.
Speaking of places where women can beat you in a arm wrestle, I was in Wigan on Wednesday night. With Michael Redmond, who for fans of Father Ted, played the Father Paul Stone. Vladamir McTavish and Juliet Meyers were also on the bill.
I was looking particularly smug this evening as all the acts had travelled at least 200 miles to do the gig. It took me 15 leisurely minutes.
Karma bit me right on the backside though when the mic kept cutting out on me. three mics later I had to go without as they desperately sought to fix it backstage. To be fair the pies saw the funny side of it.
Thursday night, I was at the Contact Theatre. I was really looking forward to this one, but when I arrived there was only a handful of people there, as the the theatre had 'forgot' to publicise the event.
The few people who were there had seen my act, so I had to use a combination of my b-side material and new stuff. Thankfully, it went down very well.
Bradford on the Friday was also quiet. Maybe it was something to do with the Volcanic ash cloud. Iceland have got a lot to answer for recently, with it going bankrupt, Kerry Katona and now this.
Steve Shanyaski and Mike Wilkinson shared the stage with me. There was only 20 people in, which is surprising considering it normally sells out.
When there are so few in, you can't really bang your material out like its a big room, it would be like heating up half a tin of beans in a big casserole dish. You have to create a intimate atmosphere, which is what I did. And they really enjoyed the night.
Saturday night, I was in the HiFi in Leeds, which was thankfully packed to the rafters. I couldn't bare another small audience. The previous few nights, I've felt like Rocky Balboa at the beginning of the 1st Rocky film when he's a no hoper fighter, scrapping away in the Chapel.
Martin Bigpig Mor and Justin Moorhouse were excellent.
There was even a few people from St.Helens in, who picked my accent out straight away. That didn't stop me ripping them to bits though.
Thanks for reading!!!