Dave Twentyman: Pies make our town great

Stand-up comic and pie-lover Dave Twentyman
Stand-up comic and pie-lover Dave Twentyman

You may remember only a few years ago the affects of the global financial crisis which resulted in the collapse of few major American banks and several major UK banks had to be bailed out by the government.

Iceland went bankrupt, Greece, Portugal and Ireland had to bailed out by the EU, major high street stores disappeared such as Woolworths and TJ Hughes.

However, the biggest casualty of the global financial crisis, in my view, was undoubtedly one of the worlds greatest pie shops ... Pimbletts.

The sudden closure of this great institution hit the local residents hard. Where were they going to get a decent meat and tater pie from now?

Of course, you could have gone to one of many other pie shops on offer, but Pimmies was different.

Kids had been brought up on them. Practically from birth. Mothers would abandon thoughts of breast feeding and get their babies suckling on a vanilla slice instead whilst the St Helens-born midwife looked on approvingly.

If the residents are the bricks that make this great town then Pimmies was the cement that stuck them together.

No matter what was going on in your life you had Pimmies. “You’ve lost your job, here, have a Pimmies steak pie”, “your wife’s left you for your best mate, here, get your chops around this black currant tart”.

Drugs such as heroin, cocaine and nicotine are infamous for their being addictive but none of them came close to addictive nature of the pastry on a Pimmies pie.

And then suddenly it was gone. There was wide spread panic. People were walking the streets in a state of shock. This was like losing KES, the kiddie eating snake all over again.

A huge power pie vacuum was created and the vultures swooped in on the empty premises, opening up pie shops that tried to capture the imagination of the locals taste buds but it was to no avail. Pimblett’s wasn’t just a pie shop ... it was a way of life.

Then from the ruins, there was a glimmer of hope.

Rumours were spreading faster than a STI on a 18-30 holiday. Pimmies had gone underground and were still operating, reminiscent of the French Resistance.

It became apparent that a little unit on Jackson Street industrial estate was selling them. And so the residents flocked around like wasps around a theme park bin.

Us addicts had found a new dealer, but thankfully Pimmies pastry is legal, and so an institution was saved.

It’s important that we teach our children about all the great things about our town.

Pilkington’s Glass, the coal mines, St Helens RFC, Johnny Wellies, the burgies, the blue bridge on the Lancs etc And of course the legendary Pimmies pies.