Dave Twentyman: Flares at girl’s football? Why not...

Dave Twentyman
Dave Twentyman

There's not many jobs where you get applauded after you've finished.

Although my missus has sarcastically applauded once or twice when I've hoovered up or filled the dishwasher correctly.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried to suggest to the other parents that we should try and create an intimidating Galatasary/Parr style atmosphere with lit flares and beating drums so that we can intimidate the visiting opposition, but Rainford is way too nice an area for that

Dave Twentyman

So, performing on stage is an exhilarating, unique experience that's been difficult to match.

However, over the past year I've found a new buzz that surpasses anything I've felt on stage...and that's watching Rainford Rangers girls u-10's.

Now I'm aware that sentence sounds like it could have rolled off the tongues of one or two former BBC presenters from the 1980s, but my daughter plays for them so you can put your pitchforks down now.

The matches are fast and furious and it's a good standard too. It's not like when we were kids and you'd just see a swarm of players surrounding the ball like wasps around a theme park bin.

They stick to their positions and play good passing football.

Rainford are the only girls team in St Helens and they play in the Lancashire league against proper academy teams that are affiliated with professional teams.

Unlike the stories you hear of abusive, aggressive parents screaming from the touchlines, I've never experienced that with girls football.

It's a very supportive environment for the girls.

Don't get me wrong, I've tried to suggest to the other parents that we should try and create an intimidating Galatasary/Parr style atmosphere with lit flares and beating drums so that we can intimidate the visiting opposition, but Rainford is way too nice an area for that.

The most satisfying victory this season, you St Helens readers will be pleased to read, came in an absolutely crushing, humiliating, 'it's just like watching Brazil' victory against Wigan Athletic by an emphatic 4-2 scoreline that sent the pies back over Billinge Hill, crying on the backseat of their parents Ford Capri.

It may sound cruel ... after all, they're only nine and 10-years old, but it's a necessary sporting life lesson that every young Pie needs to learn if they're going to be venturing over the hill in search of victory.

Thanks for reading...