Dave Twentyman - What a spectacle

St Helens Christmas lights switch on 2011 - Ronan Parke
St Helens Christmas lights switch on 2011 - Ronan Parke
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WE had the big Christmas light switch on here in St Helens.

I hope they sent letters to local residents to avoid switching their living room lights on at the same time. It would have been disappointing to unwittingly steal the event’s thunder.

Ronan Parke headlined the event. People who are familiar with Britain’s Got Talent will know that he finished runner up. I had to Google him to find that out.

He’s only thirteen years old. I wonder if he had any backstage showbiz demands ... like Calpol? Who did the safety for the event, Sure Start?

Obviously, I’m only joking. Well done to the council for putting on such a good event.

MY little girl came home from school the other day singing ‘Our God is an awesome God’.

Intrigued, I asked my daughter who God is and she replied “He’s the man you cannot see”, which I thought was very cute.

I just hope this was her own thoughts otherwise there are going to be some kids around the town who are going to be wondering if God is their Dad.

It reminded me of my primary school days, listening to stories like Noah’s Ark. There is no way a bloke could fit two of every species on Earth onto a big boat.

You only have to look at the state of your average bloke’s garage, shed, man draw to know we’re totally incapable of such organisation. Half of us can’t even put our dirty duds in washing basket.

If Noah was a woman I’d totally believe it. She’d have them all sorted into the right compartments with the correct labelling and enough food to last them a year.