Dave Twentyman - Pilates pain

Date:3rd January 2011.'Leeds Pilates instructor Claire Sparrow, helping one of her clients Sarah Miller, aged 49, of Morley, Leeds, with a short spine exercise.
Date:3rd January 2011.'Leeds Pilates instructor Claire Sparrow, helping one of her clients Sarah Miller, aged 49, of Morley, Leeds, with a short spine exercise.

I’VE been away again this week, gigging. I normally just lounge about, drinking various cocktails so I decided to go on a bit of a fitness kick and do a bit of pilates.

I thought it was some kind of Spanish dish but it turns out that it’s a form of exercise that works on your stomach muscles.

An example is lying on your back and pulling your knees right up to your chest and holding that position for about thirty seconds.

It looked easy to me and probably would have been if I hadn’t been on the ale the night before.

I’m not sure how effective this pilates is on your stomach but I’ll certainly say it’s great if you’re suffering from trapped wind.

I WENT one of them stone grill restaurants while out gigging in Egypt last week.

I love eating out in restaurants and being waited on, it’s without doubt one of my favourite things to do.

So when I ordered a fillet of steak I wasn’t expecting to be cooking it myself. They bring you a raw steak on a hot slab of stone with chips and veg on the side.

What really boiled my wee was the fact that they came over and asked if I enjoyed the meal. I did thanks, I did a cracking job of cooking it.

Who thought of that idea? The genius who thought of that must have been using a self service checkout in Tesco when they thought of that.

I don’t see the appeal at all, if I’m going to be cooking my own food then I want a staff discount.

WE’RE now into November which is probably known as Movember to many people who will be growing a tasche for the whole month for charity.

When I say people I obviously mean blokes, apart from in Wigan wHere some of the women are able to join in.

It’s a fun idea and it raises funds and awareness for men’s health, including cancers.

I have to admit, though, I personally hate tasches. In my head I associate them with evil-doers like Hitler, Saddam Hussein, Joseph Stalin ... and Des Lynam etc.