Dave Twentyman - Enough to make the late great Steve Irwin think twice

Australian Steve Irwin, famous for his TV show "The Crocodile Hunter" cradles his month-old son, Robert, under one arm and dangled a piece of meat from the other in front of a 13-foot crocodile in an image from television during a croc feeding time Friday Jan. 2, 2004, at his Australian Zoo reptile park in Brisbane, Australia. (AP Photo/Channel 7 via APTN) ** TV OUT AUSTRALIA OUT **
Australian Steve Irwin, famous for his TV show "The Crocodile Hunter" cradles his month-old son, Robert, under one arm and dangled a piece of meat from the other in front of a 13-foot crocodile in an image from television during a croc feeding time Friday Jan. 2, 2004, at his Australian Zoo reptile park in Brisbane, Australia. (AP Photo/Channel 7 via APTN) ** TV OUT AUSTRALIA OUT **

I TOOK a photo on my phone the other week of a row of shops in the town centre.

Almost all of them were poundshops apart from one which was selling half priced jewellery and surrounding it was what looked liked the cast from Cocoon.

Most people will know which bit I’m on about.

It’s a great bit for the more thrifty shopper. I bet in their worst nightmares these shops never thought that they’d get undercut by a new high street store though.

Wigan and Warrington are no more affluent than St Helens. The social spectrum is about the same yet they have new shopping centres with designer shops.

Why can’t St Helens have this too? How am I supposed to take the mickey out of them in this column when they’ve got better shops than us?

Sticking a 99p store on the main high street sends the wrong message out and it discourages the big name stores from setting up home here.

There’s no way I’ll be going in, that’s for sure ... my wife is going to have to go in for me instead. Sugar Puffs for 99p, bargain!

DID anyone else see the first story in the national news about a forty odd year old woman from Gateshead who’s due to be sentenced for biting off her fella’s two veg.

I should add that they were having a domestic drunken brawl at this point. If you’re a bloke and you’re scrapping with a woman you deserve everything you get.

I notice he rang for his own ambulance. Which goes to show fella’s, when you’re in the doghouse you can ring your own ambulance.

I’m a bit baffled with the logistics of the situation though.

Leaving his jacobs so vulnerable within the reach of her teeth. Even the late great Steve Irwin wouldn’t have got himself into that situation.

Wrestling crocodiles yes, venomous snakes yes, angry drunk geordie woman, NO!

“Crikey mate, she’s a wild one”, “Nivvor mind narked crocodiles, If yee dare come near me ah will bite yer nuts off dyer hear, gadgie”?

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