I was gigging back at the Preston Frog and Bucket on Thursday night, this time to do a set, instead of compering, and was on with Toby Hadoke and Steve Shanyaski.

There was only about 50 people in the audience. Ten of them were door to door salesman, whom I absolutely despise.

This is from bitter experience. I remember once they knocked on when I was alone in the house. I told him I wasn't interested. He then came back later that evening, I was out. My wife answered and he told her 'oh yeah, your husband told me to come back later and talk to you'.

So these fellas were going to get a bit back, and the audience didn't mind. I said, 'at least they're in here and not out on street, frightening old ladies'. Jehovah's Witnesses can be a nuisance, but at least they have some humanity.

I really enjoyed the gig, and bantered with the audience. There was a table of women, dressed in Santa Claus outfits.

The front two women were actually mother and daughter, whom I mistook for being a similar age. They took it for a compliment, but all I thought was that you are both caked in that much makeup,you could be anything from 20-50.

Don't get me wrong, a bit of makeup is nice and flattering but not to the point were it's almost a face reconstruction. I can imagine when they get in, that they lift it off in the same manner Darth Vadar takes his mask off near the end of the Empire Strikes Back to show Luke his real face ... they probably look similar too.

Friday morning, I set off on a incredibly long journey to Aberdeen. I accepted the gig on the basis that I was flying up. It turned out they could fly me up,but there was no return flight back the day after.

It took me nearly seven hours to get there. Glasgow is half way, just gives you an idea of the distance. I settled into the hotel, before making the 20 minute walk to the gig.

Me, Imran Yusuf and Joe Bor, could not believe how poorly set up the gig was. Seventy chairs were set out for the audience, but only four were willing to sit down on them.

The rest would only stand up at the edge of the room. Incredibly, there was no spotlight for the stage ... I was stood in the dark. I joked, saying 'did they not hand out the night vision goggles out at the entrance'?

Not even a smile ... 'I bet you can you see the Northern Lights up here'? Nothing. I told them I was from St Helens 'it's near Spain', again joking about how far North we was ... again, nothing. I tapped the mic 'is this thing on'? Eventually, through hard work, I won them around, thankfully.

Although, it couldn't have been very enjoyable for them ... watching some shadow on stage, from England trying to make them laugh. It was like when you watch Crimewatch and there's a victim of crime, wanting to remain anonymous, and all you can see is the outline of a figure.

I took the mickey out of a bloke who said he was a policeman. His last arrest was four years ago ...which either means he's really rubbish or he's still filling in the paperwork from the last arrest.

Saturday night, I was due to perform on the Wirral, but unfortunately I found out on my way to the gig that it had been cancelled. I have to admit, after the night before, I was glad of the rest.

Thanks for reading - and have a fantastic Christmas!